The (Un)creative Mind

Of course, I’m speaking of myself!

Having had this blog for years and done nothing with it, I’ve decided to try my hand at doing something. Of course, it still goes against my basic instinct that what I have to say is probably not worth the time it takes to read it – based upon my own experience reading a few other self-centered, why-do-I-need-facts-in-order-to-state-my-opinions? Internet masturbation opuses (opii?). I’m not going to even ask what makes my words any more valuable than another’s, because I already know the answer: nothing.

And, by that measurement, my words therefore have just as much right to exist here as another’s, and by unspoken consensus, are just as valid. Right?

Hey, happy birthday, Nathan! The world just never understands how our birthdays could be only two days apart, and yet you are a year and three days older than I.

So, getting back to the ptopic (if there is one), what am I doing here? Well, I don’t really know. What do you have to expect from me? I don’t know that, either. My interests are simple and somewhat focused: I like cars, especially their design; I like girls, especially their design, as well. I like Star Trek – not to the point of wearing or even owning my own uniform, nor spending the outrageous tariffs that Paramount charges fans simply because they know they can and not because the DVDs they sell have any such intrinsic value – but I have seen, I think, every episode of every series (I may have missed a couple Voyager episodes, but I’ve seen every episode of Enterprise, and that I’m not proud of in the least; I hoped week after week that they might discover how to write in general, and for Trek specifically, and I can only say that 4 years of that series was 4 years too many, and its death was a mercy killing for the fans). I like Jethro Tull, and Mike Oldfield, and Kansas and Rush and The Alan Parsons Project. And of all the things I like, that I truly like, I’m not obsessive about any of them, even though I may be a bit of a completist about many of them – there’s very little that I really like that I could hold my own in a discussion with a deeply obsessed fan about, and I’m fine with that; I enjoy these things – I don’t intend to make them my sole reason for living.

I like to create, whether it’s writing or drawing or modeling in 3D or simply making a picture in Poser – and as much as I like all of these things, or perhaps because I like all of these things, I’ll never be great at any of them, and in fact I frequently fail to finish many of the projects I start, because I really enjoy the act of conception more than anything, and once I start realizing my ideas, I have new ideas and I get bored with the ones I’m working on – they’re just not fresh and alive any more, as they were at the moment of their conception. It’s not that I’m lazy – I’m just, as I said, not obsessive about all the details, and once I’ve conceived of something, in my head, it’s already complete, I’ve enjoyed it to its fullest, and I’m ready to move on. Which must be frustrating for the people who live outside my head, at times, because they can see how excited I am about an idea, and yet they don’t get to participate in that high because I’m too busy thinking ahead to share, tangibly, the things that excited me to begin with.

So I’m selfish, it seems. Well, join the club – we’re all selfish, even (maybe even especially!) the most altruistic of us, because even altruism is rewarding to its practitioners. Heck, even masochists get enjoyment out of their pain – no one ever chooses sacrifice because they hate it, but because the sacrifice itself fulfills them. They can deny it all they want, but that’s no less selfish than saying, “Screw you – this (fill in the blank) is mine!

When I post, just keep in mind I’m not doing it for you, even if I claim it’s something you should know – I only think you should know it because informing you fulfills me!

Thanks for reading! Now go away until I’m ready to talk to you again! Maybe I’ll even have a ptopic.

Posted: November 26th, 2007
at 10:25pm by admin

Tagged with , , , , ,

Categories: Ptrivial Thoughts, Indeed!

Comments: 1 comment


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  1. I really liked this post. Can I copy it to my site? Thank you in advance.


    4 Jun 09 at 4:42 pm



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